BukolaVeronica FASHION | BEAUTY | LIFESTYLE

‘Oh wow, you’re so tall’. ‘How’s the weather up there?’. ‘If only you were shorter.’. ‘How are you gonna find a man, you’re taller than all the guys!’.

For as long as I can remember, these are some sentences that have been hurdled my way. Since I was about 12/13 years old, I was always the tallest girl in the room. So, from the age of 12 onwards, I had already outgrown most of the girls and all of the boys. Standing at about 5’10 as a 12 year old made me feel like an awkward Bambi on ice. My freakishly long limbs and lanky figure made me stand out like a sore thumb. Let’s just say that 12 year old Bukola wasn’t a big fan of that.

During your early teen years, the only worry you should probably have is whether you’re going to have chicken nuggets or pizza for dinner. You definitely shouldn’t be searching up ‘height reduction surgeries’ or ‘How to Stop Growing’ on WikiHow. Well, that was what 12 year old Bukola was doing. 

My height was a major insecurity for me. However, for some people, it’s their weight. Or their skin. Or maybe that weird chip they have on their front tooth. Almost everyone has or had some sort of insecurity about their body or the way they look. As human beings, we are naturally critical and we all have the capability to be our own worse critic. However, what I’ve realised over the past few years is that self-criticism gets us absolutely nowhere. It only hinders our growth and blossoming. *insert shrug emoji here*.

My height was actually just one of my many insecurities growing up. I remember that for a period of time, I HATED my nose. There was also a period of time where I really hated my legs and the thoughts of wearing a skirt or shorts seemed like an absolute nightmare. I even have a negative fixation about my right arm because it’s affected by vitiligo. (Okay, I feel like I’m rambling too much about insecurities and that is NOT the point of this post). The point of this post is that we all have our little insecurities. I have my insecurities. But, I’m gradually learning to accept the body I’m in and stop worrying about things I can’t necessary change.

Personally, I believe that a lot of the body issues that exist is due to the media. When I was younger and worried about my height and nose, social media wasn’t really a big thing. Apart from Bebo and MSN, there wasn’t a lot out there social media wise. However, magazines and TVs existed and the standard of beauty defined by these media outlets had a role in how I saw myself (and probably how a lot of people saw themselves).

However, in this day and age, the rise of social media has contributed massively to the issue at hand. The typical ‘IG Body’ is now the body type that most girls hope to achieve. It seems that if you haven’t got a  tiny waist, big ass and big boobs, there’s something wrong with you. Social media has perfected a new 21^st century body type that everyone should want to fit into. Many young girls are considering getting BBLs just to fit into the body type that they believe is the ideal. If this pressure to be ‘slim thick’ isn’t enough to drive one’s insecurity levels to the roof, then I don’t know what is.

However, from being a blogger, I’ve become accustomed to seeing ‘picture perfect’ images and not letting them affect me as much. Simply because I know the thought process behind that one picture. With every one picture posted, 55 others have been deleted. But let’s not forget that that one picture has gone through some serious editing. Teeth have probably been whitened, eyes brightened, skin smoothed out and imperfections wiped away! However, because I’m aware of these editing processes, it’s become easier for me to spot them. This is probably why I try to not let what I see on social media dictate how I feel about my body (at least not anymore!).

Personally, I try not to edit my pictures too much. Apart from adding my Lightroom presets, increasing the contrast/brightness/temperature of the picture, I don’t do anything to my actual body or face. 

Despite being aware of the ‘falseness’ of a lot of the images we see online, to say that I haven’t fallen into the trap would be a complete lie! Don’t get me wrong, I also have moments where I find myself comparing the way I look to what I see on social media. However, I try to remind myself of what I already know. A high majority of what we see on social media is curated. Social media content is usually set up in a way that is meant to appeal to the senses. So, why should I compare myself to something that isn’t necessarily ‘real’? This is a lot easier said than done though. However, what I do know is that being content with myself and accepting my body for the way it is, or at least trying to, definitely helps!

The journey towards how to accept the body you’re in is a long and twisty one. There are going to be ups and downs. However, what has helped me personally is adjusting my mindset and being aware of my triggers for self-doubt.

Take my height for example, something I was once always so insecure about.  Despite my long search history for ‘height reduction surgeries’, I never found a solution on how to shorten my height (well, apart from that one article that literally told me to chop of my legs at my knees and attach my foot to my knee – WOULD NOT RECOMMEND!). For insecurities that  can’t be changed, no matter how much you work out in the gym or how much money you fork out towards cosmetic surgeries, your mindset is what needs to be adjusted to be able to overcome the insecurity. It might take some people longer than other, but with some perseverance, we’ll all get to the end point of accepting the body you’re in. 

To think that I was once so insecure about my height actually makes me laugh a little it. My height is now one of my favourite things about myself. I like the fact that  have long legs. I even try to make myself look taller in my photos. So, yes I am tall. Yes, I do have long limbs. There’s nothing I can do about it! (well, I could chop my legs off?). I’m sure 12 year old Bukola is proud of this achievement.

As I’ve said, learning to accept the body I’m in has had a lot to do with changing my mentality regarding the issue. Also, realising that comparing myself to others will get me nowhere has also been a factor. Overall, what I’ve got to say about accepting the body you’re in is that when next you find yourself comparing the way you look to that image on Instagram, try to realise that that image is curated. That image you’re comparing yourself to has been posed for and edited. There is absolutely no point comparing yourself to what you see online or what the current ‘ideal body’ is.

As cliché and as cringey as it might sound, we are all perfect the way we are. We all have something to offer. Our uniqueness isn’t invalid. Remember, accept the body you’re in. 

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And that’s it!

My thoughts on self-love, self-acceptance and how I’ve learnt to accept the body I’m in. I feel like there’s a 100 more things I could have said on this topic but I’ll save them for another day. This post is already long enough! I’m hoping that you could somewhat relate to this post or even take something from it. If there’s one thing you can take away from this post, it’s to understand that nobody’s perfect. We all have our hang ups. However, it is up to us to try and accept the body you’re in.

If you have any personal stories about self-love and accepting the body you’re in that you’d be willing to share, I’d love to read them below in the comments. It would be wonderful to read about how you’ve overcome your own insecurities.

Until next time.

Yours,

Bukola Veronica

(If you’re looking for another ‘motivational’ type of post, then check out this post where I write about 3 Positive Changes I Think You Should Make To Your Life Today!).

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Disclaimer: All items marked with an asterisk (*) has been gifted to me. However, I was not obligated to include them in this post.

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Photos: Grace Meagher (@grace.meagher)

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IG: @bukola.veronica / Twitter: @BukolaVeronica / Facebook: @BukolaVeronicaBlog / Pinterest: @BukolaVeronica

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